Ananda Manifest & Affirmation

Positive Affirmations for Kids, by Age (and How to Use Them)

Positive affirmations for kids and teens, grouped by age, plus research on praise and self-esteem that shows which kinds of words help children most.

By the Ananda team4 min read

Children build their picture of themselves from the words they hear, especially the words adults say to them and about them. Over time, those words become their inner voice.

Positive affirmations for kids can help that inner voice become kind, brave and resilient. But research on how children respond to praise shows that what you affirm matters a lot. Here’s how to do it well, with affirmations for every age.

What research says about kids and positive words

Praise effort, not fixed traits

In a well-known 1998 study, Claudia Mueller and Carol Dweck gave children a puzzle task, then praised some for their intelligence (“You must be smart at this”) and others for their effort (“You must have worked hard”). When the puzzles got harder, the children praised for intelligence were more likely to give up, enjoyed the task less and even misreported their scores. Children praised for effort persisted and enjoyed the challenge.

Takeaway: “I work hard and keep trying” is a better affirmation than “I’m the smartest.”

Over-the-top praise can backfire

A 2014 study by Eddie Brummelman and colleagues found that inflated praise (“That’s incredibly beautiful!”) made children with low self-esteem less willing to take on challenges afterwards. They may have felt pressure to live up to an impossible standard.

Takeaway: keep affirmations honest and grounded.

Reflecting on values can help at school

In a 2006 study published in Science, Geoffrey Cohen and colleagues had middle-school students write briefly about values that mattered to them, such as friends, family or music. The exercise improved grades for students who faced negative stereotypes about their group. We explain more in Affirmations for Students.

How to use affirmations with children

  • Make it part of a routine. Breakfast, the school drive or bedtime.
  • Say them together. Kids learn by copying.
  • Let them choose a favorite or write their own.
  • Use their name: “You can do hard things, Maya.”
  • Connect to real moments: “Remember when you learned to ride your bike? You kept trying.”
  • Keep it light. If it starts to feel like a chore, change it up.

Affirmations for little kids (ages 3–6)

Short, simple and concrete.

  1. I am loved.
  2. I am brave.
  3. I can try new things.
  4. I am kind.
  5. I can ask for help.
  6. My feelings are okay.
  7. I am a good friend.
  8. I can calm my body with big breaths.
  9. I am learning every day.
  10. I am safe.

Affirmations for school-age kids (ages 7–12)

Focus on effort, friendship and handling mistakes.

  1. I work hard and keep trying.
  2. Mistakes help my brain grow.
  3. I can do hard things, one step at a time.
  4. I’m proud of myself when I try my best.
  5. I’m a good friend, and I deserve good friends.
  6. It’s okay to not know something yet.
  7. I can be different and still belong.
  8. I can handle big feelings.
  9. I stand up for myself and others.
  10. I get better with practice.
  11. My ideas matter.
  12. I can calm down and try again.

Affirmations for teenagers (ages 13–18)

Teens often roll their eyes at cheesy statements, so keep them real.

  1. I don’t have to have it all figured out.
  2. My worth isn’t measured by grades, likes or followers.
  3. I can make mistakes and still be a good person.
  4. It’s okay to say no.
  5. I’m allowed to change my mind.
  6. Comparing myself to others’ highlight reels isn’t fair to me.
  7. I can handle pressure one step at a time.
  8. My feelings are valid, even when they’re messy.
  9. I choose friends who make me feel good about myself.
  10. I’m becoming who I want to be.
  11. Asking for help is a strength.
  12. I have things to offer the world.

Affirmations for hard moments

  1. This is hard, and I can get through it. (Before a test or a new school)
  2. I’m brave even when I’m nervous. (Before a performance or a doctor’s visit)
  3. I can be sad and still be okay. (After a loss or disappointment)
  4. Someone loves me, even when I mess up. (After a mistake)
  5. I can make a new friend. (Starting somewhere new)
  6. It’s not my fault when grown-ups argue. (During family conflict)

For family difficulties, see Affirmations for Family Problems.

Fun ways to practise

  • Affirmation jar: write affirmations on slips of paper and pull one each morning.
  • Mirror notes: stick one on the bathroom mirror.
  • Lunchbox notes: a short note from you, once a week.
  • Bedtime round: each person names one thing they did well today.
  • Draw it: younger kids can illustrate their favorite affirmation.

If your child shows signs of ongoing anxiety, sadness, or changes in sleep, eating or behaviour, please talk to their doctor or a school counsellor.

How Ananda can help

Ananda is designed for adults, so it’s not a children’s app. But it can help parents too. Parenting is hard, and kids learn self-talk partly by hearing how we talk about ourselves. Use Family issue or Daily Affirmation mode to get seven affirmations about your own strengths as a parent, in any of 70 languages.

Sources

  • Mueller, C. M., & Dweck, C. S. (1998). Praise for intelligence can undermine children’s motivation and performance. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 75(1), 33–52.
  • Brummelman, E., Thomaes, S., Orobio de Castro, B., Overbeek, G., & Bushman, B. J. (2014). “That’s not just beautiful—that’s incredibly beautiful!”: The adverse impact of inflated praise on children with low self-esteem. Psychological Science, 25(3), 728–735.
  • Cohen, G. L., Garcia, J., Apfel, N., & Master, A. (2006). Reducing the racial achievement gap: A social-psychological intervention. Science, 313(5791), 1307–1310.